Snakechoke

remix your own music using do-it-yourself censorship. instead of letting radio stations or record companies censor words, mangle words vocally. anyone can make choking sounds or mess up how words sound to create a remix.

Artists who already use this technique include Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Beyonce, Ewan McGregor, Prince, Megan Thee Stallion, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Daddy Yankee, Ginuwine, Eminem, Justin Timberlake, Kesha, Pitbull, BoA, BLACKPINK, Bad Bunny, Sabrina Carpenter, Billie Eilish, Nelly, The Killers, Kate Bush, John Mellencamp, and Kendrick LaMar.

There are many more but we’ll be here all day if I list all the artists I can think of off the top of my head.

Here’s a demo! i learned this but can’t claim to have invented it. someone had to spin up a bunch of corporations haphazardly without being “OWNED” by any studio or executive.

And, plot twist! The person who parked this page had to be a blonde girl-to-woman who’d worked a respectable career for many years but had zero wrinkles! She could not be married, have kids, have made dumb kid mistakes publicly, and as much as I hate to admit this YES. BLONDE was a requirement.

Why? Well, men can be discredited by a pedophile or rapist for being SECRETLY A GAY. Trans people are targeted by disproportionate levels of violence. Anyone who isn’t blonde gets smacked with racism more easily in my opinion. If a woman has any wrinkles at all she is a hateful old hag. If a person has any younger family members at all they can be coerced using threats to their life. My rapists deadass set an apartment building ablaze to keep a credible victim from ever testifying against them. Pedophiles really will go to the ends of the earth to keep from ever being outed as a child rapists who torturers and murders innocent people. Also… I heard at grad school that anyone with a “FOREIGN-SOUNDING ACCENT” gets called… what? AN IMMIGRANT FROM A POOR COUNTRY WHO THEREFORE DESERVES TO BE RAPED?! WHAAAAAT?

If I weren’t a natural blonde I think my reputation could be destroyed in the United States of America using a picture showing how I had TOO MUCH BODY HAIR. I HAVE BODY HAIR. It is harder for a pedophile who got a paparazzi gig to allege that she deserved to be raped at age 12 because she had the pubes of a grown woman so obviously the pedophile who fucked her bloody in a hospital met her at a bar AND SHE LIED ABOUT HER AGE AND THAT’S A HOTEL ROOM!

my body hair is there
but it does not catch the light when a camera flashes soooo
BEHOLD, I AM THE STOCKPHOTO BITCH OF THE SNAKECHOKE! OTHER PEOPLE ARE THE LEAD ENGINEERS/DESIGNERS/INVENTORS/MANAGERS. I am one of the designers who learned to code for a little bit.

hissss

🐍🌸✨

Girls Protecting girls

Girls Protecting girls

WHAT'S THE NEWS, ADELE?

WHAT'S THE NEWS, ADELE?

Scary! Adele had to stop a concert in Las Vegas to defend a young fan from THE SECURITY GUARDS?! Wow! Respectfully - I’m not trying to hit on Adele because I know I am not worthy but um… wow. She sure looks FIIIIIIINE. I must say that she bears an uncanny resemblance to one of my gorgeous professors at Teachers College at Columbia University. That professor’s name shall be protected because I reckon she does NOT want THE FAAAAANS to know she lives SOMEWHERE IN MANHATTAN! At least part of the time. Presumably such a talented woman owns multiple residences.

You know, there’s a decisive theme of horror imagery running through the latest releases of lovely lady artists. Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo, Dua Lipa, Billie Eilish and DOJA CAT all released very macabre pieces recently. Nicki Minaj’s latest smash hits describe sexual violence in a way that reminds me very strongly of my own history as a baby, toddler, little girl, and every subsequent time I was called in as “A WOMAN WITH TRAUMA” or “AN ENDOMETRIOSIS PATIENT IN THE CARE OF JARED KANE.”

Meanwhile, Eminem emerged with a vengeance. Wow. The man be even angrier than ever. The material is fire in my opinion but it’s giving John Wick vibes. Is the man grieving A Bride of His Soul AKA a mother of quite a few of his children — sorry Eminem but I think you may have several babymamas and CONCEAL THEIR WHEREABOUTS AS BEST AS POSSIBLE TO PROTECT KIIIIIDS — huh, wow, I think it’s brave for anyone to come forward as a survivor of sexual assault. Highly recommend a listen!

As all of this horrendous stuff is going on, some of our leading ladies of Music That I Enjoy Listening To seem to be free to have their Slut Pop Eras in peace at long last. Look at this music video with Cardi B and Shakira! Dayumn, what pretty ladies. Excellent music with an elevated aesthetic. I read a review criticizing Megan Thee Stallion’s latest album for being “TOO HORNY.” WHAT IS WRONG WITH WRITING HORNY MUSIC? I mean… I was deadass confined to a basement with a typewriter when I wrote my horny breakup poetry yes but other people should be free to be horny on main, shouldn’t they? If it’s just songs then, you know, it’s just the free expression of a human emotion by an artist who happens to be a very fine-lookin’ lady. What’s the big deal exactly?